by Carolyn M. Ball, MA, LPC

An adventure into the self: What is that? What would be the results of such a journey? How would it affect your life?

The Self is our core. It exists within us, and is more central to who we are than our personality, our appearance, our occupation, our health, or our relationships. The Self is more real than all of our achievements, all of our suffering, and all of the other things with which we identify and become consumed. It exists as a safe and solid place at the base of all that goes on in our lives.

When we focus our awareness on the Self, this core of who we are, we discover our true nature, separate from and greater than anything and everything that we are manifesting externally in our lives. To discover the Self is to discover the haven that has always been there, even when we have been distracted with all of the events and activities of life. When we give our attention to that core, we are living our lives connected to our vital essence. When we experience the Self, personality issues lose their power, for we perceive our lives from the perspective that we are unconditionally acceptable, lovable, and perfect.

What’s interesting is that our Self is perhaps the greatest resource we have or could imagine. It is closer than our next breath, yet we have become so culturally attuned to seeking resources outside of ourselves, that we often would not even consider an internal resource.

When we are confused, scared, feeling lonely, thinking of ourselves as unsuccessful, wondering which way to turn, not sure of how to make a decision, or otherwise caught in our external world, we tend to seek out experts, someone else whom we may deem to know more about us than ourselves. We often count on therapists, doctors, educators, lawyers, and spiritual leaders to tell us the “truth,” the “right way” to create in our lives. While these resources can offer support, they cannot and should not replace the inner wisdom and knowing we each have. The Self can also better handle what we cannot handle with any one of a number of externally oriented solutions or addictions—TV and computers, substances (from chocolate to cocaine), shopping, being a workaholic, eating, etc. Unfortunately, each of these may take us further and further from the Self—not closer.

So how do we discover this illusive Self, this aspect of ourselves that is ever present and constantly supportive, but to which we may actually have no conscious relationship at all?

The answer lies in being willing to be who we are. The simplicity of it is absolutely stunning. While we all tend to get caught in the physical world–the world outside of our core–still, our greatest access to everything we can imagine lies inside of us, not outside.

Can you imagine a world where everyone could first tap their inner resource and be more guided out of a sense of self-respect and inner knowing, before they turned to physical or material solutions? Can you imagine it being standard procedure for each person to attune to the Self to find a sense of balance and self-love before relating to other people? Wouldn’t that create an interesting culture!

But, admittedly, sometimes it is hard to find that core, that place of safety in the midst of any storm. How can you possibly find the quiet of the eye of the hurricane when you’re too busy battening down all the hatches and scurrying for safety?

The trick is to remember where the source actually is–inside. Then, it is simply a matter of attuning to that place. But HOW? It sounds so darn simple, and yet, it can remain frustratingly illusive!

Here are some suggestions that will help you discover the Self and utilize the greatest resource you can imagine, which resides in your own being:

1. Become the observer of your own system. Watch your thoughts, watch your emotions, watch your reactions to events and people in your life. Learn how to hold a little part of you apart from engaging, a part that is able to just see yourself objectively–not judge, but only notice. You might want to set aside a certain amount of time each day to practice this; soon it will become a habit.

2. Remember your dreams and greatest aspirations. Connect to your own greatest visions of your magnificence. Imagine and visualize yourself in all of your fullness. See yourself fulfilled, doing what you most love, regardless of what anyone else might think or judge. Know that you are a unique expression of humanness on this planet. Honor and enjoy this about yourself.

3. When hurts and pains find their way into your life, train yourself to do the opposite of your normal inclination, which is probably to try to avoid anything unpleasant. Instead, dive to the core of what you would resist. Allow yourself to feel completely that which you would avoid. Let yourself experience it and hear the message it has for you. Immerse in feeling of the pain rather than trying to avoid it–until it dissolves. People often think that avoiding something will make it go away, but generally the opposite is true: it becomes imbedded within us due to our resistance to it. The real way to make something go away is to give it our attention fully until it reaches resolution, which can happen very quickly.

4. Take a little time each day to connect to the Self, to that internal source. A good way to do this is to watch your thoughts. Keep watching them for a while, and then start tracking them back to who is thinking those thoughts. Who is thinking these thoughts? Put your focus now, on the source of the thoughts, and you will find the Self. Interestingly enough, when your awareness is focusing on the thinker, it cannot also think! In this silence, you will experience who you really are: The Self. Why not try it right now?

There are number of Hemi-Sync® titles to help you achieve more self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-knowledge.

Published courtesy of

Carolyn Ball has been a leader in human growth and transformation for the past 25 years. A counselor since 1987, she lives and has a private practice in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, where she is a Licensed Professional Counselor and corporate trainer. Ms. Ball is the author of three books: Claiming Your Self-Esteem: A Guide Out of Codependency, Addictions, and Other Useless Habits; Blessing in Disguise;, and Meher Baba’s Next Wave. She has also co-developed two Hemi-Sync titles: Claiming Your Self ,and Emerging from Depression and Anxiety.

Carolyn M. Ball12/09/2013
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